FAQ: Part 1

You asked for it....

Here's Part 1 of the FAQs. I'm answering questions 1-5 in this post and will answer 6-10 soon to follow! I worked hard on these, quad addicts, so ENJOY and leave me a comment if you'd like to say hello.  I LOVE hearing from you!

1. What kind of camera do you use for your photography and videos?  What editing software do you like best?

My best pal, Brad, gave me a Nikon D40 DSLR for our 5th anniversary. Besides my wedding ring, it's the most cherished gift he's given me. I use a 18-55mm lens.

Most videos seen on our blog are shot with my point and shoot Casio Exilim.  It has a great video function and quality. 

I've used Picasa for all of my photo editing.  It's Free and I happen to love Free. However, I recently became the proud owner of Adobe Photoshop Elements 7, thanks to a great Costco coupon, so I'm anxious to try it on for size. 

Photography is most definitely a love of mine, and I feel privileged to share it with each of you!

2. How do you financially afford quadruplets? 

Although quadruplets may seem like an overwhelming financial burden, in reality it's quite similar to having a 4 "single" children.  For instance, even when you have children one at a time, you have the responsibility to feed, diaper, and clothe each child individually.  I like to visualize it as traditional families being on the layaway payment plan, while we're paying the cost up front. 

However, that is not to take away from how God has provided for our every need.  Initially we had no idea how we would ever be able to financially stay afloat.  No matter how many budget cuts we made, there was no way we alone could provide for the needs of an instant family of six. The first year was an awesome display of God's faithfulness and provision for our family.  From nearly a year's supply of diapers from friends and family, to clothes donated by strangers, to a check in the mailbox, to lower interest rates on our mortgage, to meeting maximum out-of-pocket deductibles....Our faith was strengthened through trusting in our Sovereign God.  

Today, we continue to  trust God with our finances.  We creatively look for ways to cut costs and make our budget.  Saving money has become a "hobby" of ours and we look forward to one day being completely debt free, if the Lord allows.

3. Do you plan on having more children? 

Inquiring minds want to know...

Although we haven't ruled it out forever.  We certainly are not "planning" on another little Murray for now. We feel incredibly blessed and content to be the parents of Henry, Isaac, Brooks, and Clark.

4. Details. Details. Details.  I hope this answers most of your questions on the pregnancy and the birth:

Pregancy Details:

Found out we were expecting "triplets" at 6 weeks gestation

Told we were expecting quads at 8 weeks

Transabdominal Cerclauge Surgery at 13 weeks

Manditory Bedrest at 22 weeks

Prescribed Procardia for pre-term contractions at 22 weeks

Voluntary Hospitalization for Monitoring of Mono-Mono Twins at 28 weeks

Delivery via Caesarian Section at 32 weeks (Average quadruplet pregnancy 28 weeks)

Delivered due to toxic levels of Preeclampsia/HELLP Syndrome

Placed on Magnesium Sulfate to prevent seizures, prevent kidney/liver failure, and to lower blood pressure

Received several units of blood via transfusion due to blood loss

Total Hospitalization: 35 LONG Days

Pumped for first 3 months of the babies lives

Baby A (1st Born)

Henry Samuel Murray

Born at 12:33pm

Birth Weight: 2lbs 12 oz.

Time in the NICU: 4 weeks

Complications: Very Few.  Considered a "Feeder and Grower", No Oxygen Needs

Baby B (2nd Born)

Brooks Layton Murray (Identical Mono-Mono Twin)

Born at 12:34pm

Birth Weight: 3lbs. 0 oz.

Time in NICU: 3 weeks

Complications: Very Few. C-PAP for 24 hours. Feeder and Grower. Came home at 3 lbs. 12 oz.

Baby C (3rd Born)

Clark Thomas Murray (Identical Mono-Mono Twin)

Born at 12:34pm

Birth Weight 3lbs. 7 oz.

Time in NICU: 5 weeks

Complications: Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Ventilation, PDA (closed with 2nd dose of Indocin),High Blood Pressure, 2 NEC scares, Clean Bill of Health at Discharge

Baby D (4th and Final)

Isaac Edward Murray

Birth Weight: 4 lbs.

Time in NICU: 3 weeks

Complications: Ventilation for 4 Days, PDA (closed with 1st dose of Indocin), C-PAP for 1 Day, Feeder and Grower

5. How did you come up with each of their names?

This is a question we are frequently asked as many can't imagine coming up with 8 NAMES, when they struggled to come up with even ONE!

Brad and I sat down one night, I believe around 18 weeks. and wrote down our short list of names we liked and then did some "research" to find other names to consider. Believe it or not we came up with 9 names in about 40 minutes! (We had Henry's middle name narrowed down to 2.) In reality, I think it was somewhat easier to come up with 4 baby's names than just one....we didn't have to completely agree on the "ultimate name" and were more willing to compromise. Plus, I was a speech therapist in the schools so I had a pretty extensive list of what our boys wouldn't be named. =)

We had 4 names picked out, but we didn't assign them to a certain baby in my belly because they moved around too much to keep track of....We didn't want them to come out with an identity crisis on top of being quadruplets! However, we somewhat had a sense of who would be named who. After the boys were born, (pretty fuzzy on these details due to "The Mag" and blood loss) Brad brought me pictures of the boys and we named them based on the pictures.

Brad and I had a few "Naming Rules". These were simply personal preferences. I am not in any way slamming your kids names if they fit into any of these criteria....=)

1. They couldn't rhyme or be "sing-song cute".
2. They needed to be non-trendy; Traditional, yet distinct.
3. They needed to be names that were complete in itself - not needing to be shortened to a nickname (This rule was obviously meant to be broken...keep reading!)
4. They (at least some of them) needed to have a family link.
5. They couldn't rhyme with "Murray"....That eliminated furry, hurry, and Suri!

Henry - A name we both agreed on and since Henry was only 2 lbs. 12 oz. "Isaac" just didn't fit him!
Meaning: Trusted

Samuel - We really liked the Biblical heritage of Samuel as well as the meaning of the name (Check out I Samuel Chapter 1)
Meaning: God heard

Brooks - A name that we threw out there and then ended up falling in love with
Meaning: Refreshed

Layton - A family name on my mom's side, but mostly chosen because we just liked it
Meaning: From the Meadow Land =)

Clark - One of our first names that made the list. We came up with Clark in the early days of marriage. It has several significant ties as well. It's Brad's Grandma's Maiden Name, and the last name of a couple who really had a positive impact on Brad's life who have passed away.
Meaning: Enlightened Spirit

Thomas- Brad's Dad's Name
Meaning: Divinely Preserved

Isaac - I used to say, "If God gives me a boy someday, I hope his name is Isaac." (I had no idea that He would give me FOUR!)
Meaning: Child of Promise, Laughter

Edward - My Dad's Name
Meaning: Guardian of Happiness

Now I couldn't imagine them any other name than Henry Samuel, Brooks Layton, Clark Thomas, or Isaac Edward!

FAQ Teaser:

I'm working on compiling and answering your inquiries from this post and your emails.  I think I've narrowed it down to a Top 10 that I'll be posting on the Menu Bar, so you can look at them whenever your heart so desires.

Here's a few that didn't make the Top 10, but I'm happy to answer:

Many of you have asked,

"How in the world do you get the boys to sit still in group pictures?" (ie: the swing pictures) 

Well the answer is we fill their piggy banks with a silver dollar for every smile.  Okay, not really....More times than not the group shot turns out something like this minor fiasco:

Definitely not picture perfect, but every once in a while if you make a big enough fool of yourself (entertaining the neighbors while you're at it) and if the stars are aligned just so, you might have a slim chance of one turning out like this:

And then you blog it and pretend it was a piece of cake to get all 4 of their faces to light up in synchronized fashion.

Summaiyah asks,

"One of the toughest part has to be giving each child the individual attention they deserve. how do you handle that?"

It is a challenging aspect of parenting multiples, but there are many moments of the day that we make time for individual lovin'. Diaper changes, reading books, slow dances, tons of hugs, treating boo-boos, drying off after bath, and even discipline are opportunities for one-on-one time.  We also cherish the times we get to take one of them out on a "date" errand and look forward to more of those as the weather gets warmer.

An anonymous commenter asks,

"Why are the boys' cribs so empty? I noticed in that there are no blankets or a comforter, no little blankies, no stuffed animals? I can understand for a newborn but don't they have security objects they like to sleep with? Not saying either way is right or wrong, just curious. I have let mine sleep with a pillow and blankets since about 9 months and now their cribs are cluttered with their most favorite babies, bears, and blankies."

Perhaps this picture is a better representation; Isaac with 5 of his favorite stuffed friends surrounding him, laying on top of his blankie, zipped in his wearable SleepSack blanket. However, on most nights soon after we tuck them in, the animal wars begin.  They throw them across the room, into each other's cribs, onto the floor....the floor is usually covered by morning with animals.  Recently, I started enforcing the 2 animal limit, because it was getting way out of hand.  Sometimes they choose to keep their lovies "safe" in their crib.

Henry sleeps with a sheep and a horse.

Isaac sleeps with a little beagle dog and a bear.

Brooks sleeps with a brown teddy and a hippo.

And Clark sleeps with a yellow dog and a bear. 

They all have a blankie as well that they love to play "shepherd" with...it's darling.

The Gibson Twins want to know,

"Do you have any pets? If not, do you think you will ever let the boys get a pet or pets?"

Currently, no.  Although there are days that I wish I had a dog, just for the purpose of cleaning up under the table after toddler meals.  I can hardly fathom the future task of potty training 4 boys, let alone throwing a dog/cat in the mix too! Never say never, right?  (I think that answers your potty training question too!)

Following Him asks,

"What do you look foward to each day? Which kind of diapers did you all use when the boys' were little bitty?"

I LOVE going into the boys rooms in the morning and hearing them saying "Mama" when hey here me coming. I LOVE watching them play with their daddy.  I LOVE hearing them sing and talk to each other throughout the day. I LOVE all the kisses and hugs. I LOVE watching them sleep peacefully at the end of the day. These are just a few things I look forward to every single day.

I used Pampers Swaddlers in the beginning.  They were wonderful!  Now we'll use just about any brand.

Several of you asked about,

"How do you tell the identicals (Clark and Brooks) apart in the past and currently? Do you try to dress them alike?"

We've been able to tell Clark and Brooks apart from the moment they came home. Every once in a while they can throw you for a loop, but most people who spend any extended amount of time around them, can identify who's who. However, they go through stages of looking more alike.

(Clark left, Brooks right)

Sometimes we dress them alike, because we buy some of their clothes from a local twins club sale, but most of the time we go for whatever is CLEAN!

There's MORE FAQs to COME!!!! 

Open Mic...

I'm looking to do a FAQ Page for our menu bar (see top left hand corner under the header).  I know that many of you who hop on to our site for the first time have lots of questions that may or may not have been answered in earlier posts.  Hopefully, this page will answer some of the repeated questions in one shebang! 

Soooooo I'm opening this one up to YOU!  What are some questions you'd like me to cover on the FAQ Page? 

Brooks says, "Don't be shy!"

5 FAQs....

In an effort to save myself some repetitive email and comment responses, here's a few answers to my recent Top 5 FAQs: 

1. "How in the world do you keep you house "spotless"?"

I got this one several times after posting these pictures last week and it made me laugh audibly. You've GOT to be kidding me!  Maybe I should have posted a picture like this one instead:

There is that better?  Personally, I do function better with order, structure, and cleanliness. I don't feel like organization is optional in a higher-order multiples family,  but I've learned post-quads that I HAVE to let some things go.  I still have about 1 1/2 rooms full of boxes from our move.  My list of things to clean, organize, fix, etc. is unreasonably long. However, there are some days that I feel like if my boys were changed, fed 3 meals, and asleep for the night, then MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!  My list will still be there in the morning, right?

 

2. "Did you find ever find a leak-proof sippy cup?" 

Did Ponce de Leon ever find the Fountain of Youth? =)  However, we've settled for the closest thing to leak-proof with the Playtex Sipsters after trying almost every sippy on the planet. They only leak when pounded upside down, or when thrown forcefully 3 feet onto a hard surface. Reasonable price, not too many parts to clean, durable, easy to use and if it can withstand 4 boys, that makes it a winner in my book!

 

 

3. "I'd like to email you, but I don't want to leave my email on the comment section for the entire world to see...Could you post your email?"

I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to hear from you.  Sometimes when I'm blogging I wonder who's on the other side of my computer screen, so it's always a treat to read a personal email from a "reader".   Please do not take it personally if it takes me a few days (or sometimes longer) to get back with you. I often procrastinate returning emails - working on that one! Our blog email is quatro_mama {at} yahoo {dot} com

Checking my inbox now to see if you've written!

4. Do "the twins" (Clark and Brooks) still share a crib? 

No. Sniff. Sniff. 

Around the time of our move, I decided to make the switch to one nap versus two.  Aaggh!  What a transition!  In an effort to get the boys to sleep and not party the entire nap, we reluctantly assembled the 4th and final crib that had been collecting dust in our garage for 18 months. Shortly after the nap separation, we took our trip to Michigan and used the Pea Pod Tents (each of them sleep in their own individual tent). We brought the sniffles home with us from Michigan, so they remained separated through the illness. After that, we realized that they were sleeping fine by their lonesomes. Thus, putting them back together would be only to satisfy our need for the cuteness, rather than their need for security or comfort.

So after 18 months of co-bedding, we are finally a 4 crib family. 

Here's what our temporary nursery looks like with the 4 cribs set up; It actually came out looking less crammed then I expected.

For sake of the cuteness, here's some sweet pictures we use to remind us of such precious times:

 

5. How do you get the watermark on your pictures?

I've been trying out a blogging software called Live Writer (it's free!) that allows you add watermarks to your pictures.  Yes, I know that people are smart enough to remove it if they want to steal our pictures, but it takes a little more effort than right clicking and clicking save. People can break in your house even with the door locked, but you still lock your doors, right?  It's precautionary.

NICU Survival Kits: Part V

If you are newish to our blog you might wanna check out this link to catch you up on NICU Survival Kits (Parts 1-4)- you'll get the 411 on what they are, who they go to, what's in them, etc.

Since our last update here's some progress that's going on with the kits:

~There's been talk about a possible sponsorship for a portion of the kits. (I don't know the details, but I will fill you in as I get more specifics.)

~We've started working on a card to put in the kits about our personal experience.

~We've opened a separate account for sole use of NICU kit contents, complete with a debit card that donates to the March of Dimes every time I use it - isn't that awesome? It looks like this:

~We received our first donation check from a blog reader.

~We've gotten a nice stash of homemade blankets for the kits.

~We received a few schedule books from justmultiples to try out.

~We've received a payment check from Adsense for hosting ads on this blog (proceeds going towards the NICU kits)

~We visited our NICU and perinatologist office around the boys birthday to thank them once again for the excellent job they did in caring for our boys. We are so grateful for the roles they played in their health and well-being. Here's some pictures from our visit:

Henry getting a birthday hug from DeDe; She "caught" him when he was born

Dr. Sumner's IN the choo-choo wagon - he's still a kid at heart and we love him for it!

Sheesh! That's more than I thought had happened in a month!

A couple of questions I need to answer.....

How do I decide who gets the kits?

My contacts so far have been either a personal connection, through friends, or through this blog. I would LOVE to make one for each multiple family/preemie that I hear about, but right now I do not have the resources (time, finances, etc.) to do so....for now I'm trying to send out at least 1 per month.

What size do I make the blankets, how do I get them to you, what should they be made out of?

I prefer 20 x 20 or close (they don't have to be square - rectangle are fine)...a little smaller or a little larger is just dandy too! They can be yarn, fleece, or fabric. Email me at quatro_mama [at] yahoo [dot] com for my mailing address.

Are there other items that need donated?

It seriously floors me that any of you would be interested in supporting this cause any more than what you are already doing by visiting our site. You can find the contents of the kit here. I've got plenty of lotion and journals for now, but the other items are still needed. My next item to purchase is some storage containers, so that I can stock up and put them together more quickly/efficiently.

How can we donate, how can I sponsor a kit, will you put a donate button on the blog?

Again, blows my mind! For now, we are not adding a donate button to this site, for various reasons. We are looking into creating a 501c3 account (there's a pretty hefty application fee)...so it may be down the road, making donations tax deductible. If you truly feel led to donate please contact me (email posted above) and I can give you our mailing address.
Please know that we package these kits not with the intention of gathering donations, but rather a way for US to give back to other families facing similar situations that we have experienced, but enjoy sharing it with you!

Once again, feel free to leave me a comment or send an email with questions, encouraging words, or suggestions. I will try my best to get back with each of you in a timely manner. Thanks for being part of the TEAM!

Our 1st (and possibly only) Q & A....

First and foremost THANK YOU for your outpouring of encouragement and congratulations through the past week. I'm glad I could share little pieces of our celebration of LIFE with you.....

I've been a bit stumped on how to follow up what has been some of our best blog posts ever (in my humble opinion). I can't possibly beat the 1st Year Video, Cake Pics, or 1st Bday Memories! So I've decided to attempt a Q & A....Hopefully I don't kick myself for it later!

I've selected a FEW questions/comments that I've been getting via comments or email.

Please don't be offended if I didn't choose your specific question. There's probably a variety of reasons why I did not (ie: It was too intrusive, I've answered it before on this blog, I don't know the answer, or because I'm just mean like that -HA!). I also would ask that you refrain from turning this post into a forum of comments/questions that you would never say aloud to your grandmother......(I'm typing this with a smile, but in all seriousness there is some REAL negativity in the air these days in the blogosphere, so I ask that you'd respect our family and keep in mind that our boys will be reading this someday.) I do read every comment, but screening every comment would be much too time consuming. On the other hand, I do like to promote blog interaction....just use some descretion! We'll see how it goes and who knows perhaps we'll turn this in to somewhat routine post?????

Let the Q&A Commence....

~What Artist/Song Titles did you use in the video montage? (-Anonymous)

"All Things New" - Watermark

"Ordinary Miracle" - Sarah McLachlan

"Everything Glorious" - David Crowder Band

~Where do you get a feeding table like you have? (-Stacy, Auntiem)

You can find out more details here, but we researched and found it for the best price (plus free shipping) at http://www.justmultiples.com/ It's our all-round favorite "multiple" product! Yep, Suz, original seats + still room to grow!

~Where did you get your plastic bibs? (- The Donovans)

Baby Bjorn. Love 'em! Rinse 'em off and they're good to go for the next feeding. Best part: no extra laundry!

~Are Brooks and Isaac "the twins"? (-Joan's Musings)

Trust me, I get the "which ones are the twins" question a TON! I'm always tempted to say "they all are!", because truly they are ALL either fraternal or identical twins or to say, "none of them, they're quads!"....but I get it, you want to know who's identical: Brooks and Clark are the 2 peas in 1 pod!

~What color are my kitchen walls? (-Karen)

Glad you like them, but I have trouble remembering the last time I brushed my teeth. I can't recall the paint color from 3 years ago. Sorry. We got it from Porter Paints - hope that narrows it down to a few thousand.

What would you recommend for a Hospital Bed Rest Kit? (-Amanda)

Hmmm...I think I'm better at NICU Kits...maybe my quad sistas could chime in with some great suggestions for this one....Anything homemade is appreciated when your "institutionalized", toe polish, lotion, music, sudoku, a visit????

~Which hospital did we deliver at? (-Dawn)

St. Vincent's Women's. Can't say enough great things about the NICU care we received. Check out the commercial we were featured in on their behalf if you haven't already.....

~How's come our kiddos didn't have to wear cranial bands like Suz's? How did you get them in shape post-birth without them? (-The ever so popular Anonymous)

Without getting too "medi-techno"....Although the boys' heads were quite a mess at birth due to being soooooo cramped inside me, somehow our kids' heads have shaped up remarkably well on their own. (They did use a Halo Pillow in the NICU for Henry's preemie head) However, this does not mean I did or didn't do something right. Simply, our little guys heads were more pliable/soft and more symmetrical. Congrats to the Steece Quads for escaping theirs so quickly!

~How do we tell our boys apart? Do we use bracelets, etc.? (-You guessed it!)

We just know. I wish I could tell you the secret, but I can't really describe it. They seem so distinct to me....Brooks and Clark are the trickiest, but once you're around them for a while you begin to pick up on the little things. Their personalities are all sooooo different as well.